Carlisle Cullen Diaries
by Brifach
Summary: Carlisle has had a 350 year life. In Twilight you only get a taste of a few short years of the compassionate doctor's life. If you love Carlisle then read this from bite to life story. Start with Carlisle's struggle for self control to his loving family.
1. The Beginning

Carlisle Cullen Diaries

Chapter One

Beginning

1667

Father has grown old and weak, and he cannot continue his job  
without assistance. Therefore he has chosen me to lead the hunt. A  
couple of nights ago I passed by a dark, malodorous, sewer on the far  
outskirts of town. Over the past couple of months there have been  
mysterious disappearances in the area, and therefore I am leading a  
search party out into the area in search of vampires. I swear not to  
burn them unless I am fairly positive they are in fact vampires. Twilight has fallen upon London, leaving a thick layer of fog and  
humidity, making it very difficult to see. I fear tonight will be a  
risky night to hunt, however father insist.  
I am armed with a heavy wooden crucifix that father carved himself out  
of a rotten oak from the Forrest.  
It is definitely hard to see, and if there is something out there I  
must resort to running, because visibility is very low.  
I could hardly see, and the only sign that we had reached the sewer  
was the stench. I ordered the group to a halt as we approached the  
opening. I heard something Latin being called out. Latin?  
Several things happened instantaneously:  
I heard screaming  
I heard several scrambling feet  
and I realized that I was pursing the feet  
then something unexpected occurred. I felt something biting down on me.  
Like two daggers squeezing my flesh. Then it stopped and I saw my  
blood. Blood everywhere. The stabbing pain was replaced by burning.  
Extreme burning. I bit my lip and tried not to shout. I looked at my  
arm, where the pain was the most excruciating. I saw a crescent mark,  
lined with blood. The monster had bitten me. I was one of them. Father  
would kill me.  
Quickly, ignoring the pain, I rolled, and crawled to the city, until I  
found an open basement, filled with old, rotten potatoes. I lay in  
there in the dark, the burning engulfing my entire body, pushing me to  
the rim of consciousness. Every muscle in my body willed me to scream.  
I cut a piece of cloth from my shirt and gagged myself. I didn't  
scream. I didn't move. I just lay there, with the feeling of burning  
tingling in my skin.  
I laid there forever, it seemed, until the pain stopped. Then a new  
type of pain began. An ache in my throat. A screaming thirst begging  
for... Blood. I was a vampire. A monster. A demon. I was to be  
destroyed.  
I must not kill, I told the thirst, but the thirst didn't die down. I  
ran from London, experiencing my new speed and strength. The burning  
in my throat grew stronger.  
That's when I made up my mind. I was going to kill myself. Jump  
cliffs; starve myself, whatever it takes.  
I jumped the highest cliffs and I didn't die. I went weeks on weeks  
without drinking.  
It was a sunny day in the forest, and my throat burnt as strong as  
ever. I heard feet. Not feet hooves. Then I breathed. The next thing I  
realized was that the burning in my throat had reduced and I was  
crouched upon young venison. My thirst was quieted by the animal  
blood. I could survive off the blood of animals  
I have always valued education and therefore I will spend the rest if  
my life devoted to learning. I shall begin in France.

With my newly found strength and power I swam the channel with ease,  
trying to keep a low profile and controlling my obvious inhumane power  
was difficult, however I managed not to draw to much attention.  
Then I realized that it would be difficult to work around humans. My  
eyes were an unmistakable shade of red, that according to father,  
meant only evil, and those who posses them are damned regardless.  
Then is my paleness, and my recently found sparkling. A sparkling that  
could draw attention in any crowd.  
And last is the beauty that all evil posses. The beauty that draws in  
prey, until the moment is right to attack. The beauty that attracts  
much unwanted attention.  
My thirst is still wild, and still burns my throat with want. However  
I've found that each day the thirst dies down slightly, and the more I  
feed the less it burns.  
I must feed much if I am to seek education in France and work among  
humans. I have never heard of any vampire living among humans without  
feeding on them, and without being noticed. However I have hope that  
one day I will be able to see and smell blood and be able to resist  
the temptation without any hesitation.  
Then back to my dreams of helping people. The best way I can accomplish  
this goal is to become a doctor. Perhaps my new gifts of sight and  
smell and hearing will assist me in this dream.  
I exited the channel rushing quickly into the darkness and safety of  
the dark alleys. My cloaks were wet, and would attract attention to  
anyone wearing them. I stripped my cloak and hung them to dry on a  
vacant clothes wire. I sat in the corner of a trash bin and a wall,  
leaning my head against the tin. I then closed my eyes and used my  
sharp hearing. About half a mile down the alley I heard footsteps.  
Footsteps that were to light and too even to be human. I stood in a  
defensive position, ready for anything.  
"Who's that?" I whispered knowing that they would be able to hear me.  
It was the first time I'd spoke in my new voice and it startled me.  
"Brother of the night" said a beautiful but old voice.  
"I am here" I said staying in a crouch.  
"Have you hunted tonight?" asked the voice that was nearer. I knew he  
could have reached me already. Was he too weak?  
"hello, friend my name is Carlisle," I said, relaxing my position a bit  
"have you hunted?" insisted the voice  
"I do not hunt humans" I replied calmly to the voice. It scared me  
that I used hunt and humans in the same sentence.  
"Hunt," said the voice. Then I used my new eyes to peer into the  
darkness. Then I saw him.  
He was of course handsome but you could see the weakness in his face,  
and the dark circles under his eyes from unsatisfied thirst. His eyes  
were a deep red.  
"I only feed on the blood of animals" I verified, staring at the  
hooded figure.  
"Blood?" said the vampire  
"I will give you venison blood for your cloak?" I offered  
the vampire slowly stripped his cloak and handed it to me. Faster than  
possible I put it on.  
"I will return soon," I said speeding off down the alley.

The cloak was much too long, and at the speed I was running, a human  
would have fallen and perhaps died. But I then noticed the extreme  
grace and flowingness of which I walked and I convinced myself it is  
impossible to get hurt on accident.  
The streets of France were black, with a few glowing candles in  
windows. I held my breath; I needed to hold it until I reached the  
forest, where the chances of there being a human were slim.  
When I had wondered deep into the woods I hear the rustling of leaves  
and I smelt blood. Elk blood. Blood.  
My throat burnt with pain and want. No, I told my thirst, no the Elk  
is for our friend.  
I felt stupid thinking towards thirst, but will power meant something  
because the burning simmered down to a small sting. I stood still. The  
Elk was headed my way. It was less than A quarter mile away. I  
sprinted as fast as I could with my new speed, following the smell. I  
saw the elk and I pounced, forgetting everything except for the fact it  
contained blood. Instinctively I reached for the elk's neck. Then logic  
came.  
Some how I pulled myself away. I forgot my thirst and the warm blood  
flowing through the animal. I needed to bring the animal back.  
I grabbed the animal and slung it over my back with ease, letting the  
hooves beat on my back as I ran. I ran fast, fast enough so that no  
human could see me running in the dark.  
When I reached the alley, the sun was sending small streaks of morning  
light across the sky. When I arrived about half a mile from where I  
remembered leaving the thirsty vampire, I heard footsteps approaching  
quickly. Then the weak vampire appeared, arms extended forward. He  
grabbed the elk off my back and pounced on it. I watched in slight  
disgust as the vampire sucked every ounce of blood from the elk.  
"thank you, son" the vampire said in a very slightly stronger voice,  
wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth.  
"Was the blood satisfying?" I asked, genuinely curious.  
"Not as much as humans" laughed the vampire "you said your name is  
Carlisle?"  
"yes sir" I said, looking down at the ground.  
"Sir? I'm hardly a sir. My name is Edmund. Your accent is British?"  
"I'm from London" I clarified.  
"Why do you feed off animals?" asked Edmund, curious.  
"I don't want to hurt people" I replied honestly.  
"Look at what this animal blood does to you!" said Edmund  
"pardon me?" I said  
"you're eyes!"  
I looked into a puddle of water at my feet and stared in my eyes. They  
weren't red like Edmunds, but they were a deep orange red color. They  
were slightly lighter then Edmunds.  
I blinked.  
"How old are you son?"  
"23"  
"how long have you been one of us?" asked Edmund.  
"A few months at most." I said, realizing I hadn't tracked time.  
"I see" said Edmund  
"do you hunt alone?" I asked Edmund  
"do you see anyone with me?"  
"Sorry sir"  
"I must be going Carlisle, thank you."  
I got to my feet quickly.  
"Any day sir" I told him  
He chuckled and sped off into the city. 


	2. France

Chapter Two

France

Daylight was falling upon France, and a new day was dawning. I  
looked up and my wet cloak. I'll just leave it there for a lucky  
person who finds it. I pulled the hood to my cloak over my head and I  
walked into the town square of France.  
There were some shop owners set up already with fruits and veggies. I  
saw no people out, however I kept my breath held.  
That's when I heard small, dragging footsteps. And a heartbeat.  
I clenched my teeth fighting a sudden burn in my throat. I didn't  
breath. I turned to face the heartbeat. It was a small boy, with dirty  
blonde hair stuffed under a Barrett and with torn clothes. I could see  
the blood in him. I could hear the blood I him.  
I fought the urge  
"sir?" the boy called to me  
I was afraid to respond. Afraid of a breath.  
"Yes?" I said walking towards the boy keeping my reddish eyes down.  
"Do you have some food?" asked the boy.  
"No but I can buy you some" I offered. That was it for air. If I was  
to speak again I was going to have to breathe.  
"Thank you sir"  
I nodded. I walked to a bakery, with a scribbled sign saying open. I  
pulled my hood down. Inside the shop was a woman, who was about 21,  
22. When I walked in I looked towards the floor and her eyes widened.  
"What can I do for YOU sir?" she asked, with a soft edge in her voice.  
I had to breathe. I had to.  
Breath. A sweet luscious smell filled my nose, an irresistible smell.  
No. No. You're not a monster. I opened my mouth slowly to speak.  
"Just a loaf of bread ma'am," I said only glancing up for half a second. She froze and her eyes were mystified.  
"are you sure that's ALL?" she blinked at me furiously handing me a  
warm loaf of bread.  
"Yes ma'am," I said handing her money.  
"Have a GREAT day," she waved, disappointment on her face.  
When I got outside the boy was in a ball, in the middle of the plaza.  
I handed him the bread. He smiled with rotten teeth,  
"thank you sir!"  
I nodded.  
"Sir do you have a quiet place that I could eat at? The men here  
aren't very polite and they may steal my bread," he said, a quiver of  
fear in his voice.  
"I have no home, but I can offer you a quiet place" I said waving him  
along. My air was out again. The boy came running to me and I took an  
excruciating breath of air before he could get too close.  
"Once again, thank you, sir! May I ask your name?" asked the boy  
politely.  
"Carlisle," I responded, keeping my response quick.  
"I'm Treel, sir, Treel Cullen," Cullen. I should replace my last name  
instead if carrying the name of a preacher. Carlisle Cullen.  
I pulled my hood over my head as we left the plaza. I tried to walk  
slowly, and although I thought I was, the boy had to jog to keep up.  
When we reached the alley the boy grabbed my cloak. I guess the alley  
was a bit scary.  
I stopped, realizing that I had left the body of a dead bloodless deer  
farther down.  
I held up my hand.  
"Here" I told the boy, who was already sitting down and feasting on  
the bread.  
"What are you?" the boy asked with a mouth full of bread.  
"Excuse me?" I said suddenly frightened. Was it that obvious  
"well, you're too kind to be human," said the boy seriously.  
"Why thank you," I said smiling. I blinked just to ensure him I was  
human.  
"You didn't answer my question? Is it a secret?" insisted the boy.  
"Yes," I said giving a warm smile. Breath and burn.  
"I won't tell," said the boy, "I can tell you're not something bad"  
If he only knew.  
"I must be going," I said looking in his eyes.  
"Your eyes, they're dark orange. Nearly red." the boy stated.  
I looked down quickly, stood up, and walked down the alley.  
I needed to feed.  
It was about 10:00 AM in France and the sun was covered by clouds.  
The entire sky was covered in clouds. But I still pulled the hood as  
far as it would go over my face and I kept my hands in my pockets. I  
looked down and used my hearing to navigate.  
I reached the forest and thought about the nearby blood. Mistake. My  
throat flared with intense pain. At that point I wasn't Carlisle  
Cullen. I was part of the forest. Part of the air. Part of the wild.  
Thump thump thump thump. Those weren't hooves. They were paws. Heavy  
ones. Thump thump thump thump. I took a deep breath, inhaling the  
sweet scent of the new intoxicating blood. I sprinted towards the  
scent, the scent getting stronger with each step. Then I saw it. A big  
brown mass, a huge bear, with huge teeth. With animal like instincts I  
jumped, landing on the bears back, strangling it until there was no  
life left in its body. I sunk my teeth into the bear, letting the  
bloods warmness fill my body until I was as strong and controlled as  
ever. I wiped my mouth, cleaning the traces of blood from my face. I  
looked at Edmunds old cloak and noticed how dusty and old it was. I  
was going to need more clothes. I reached into the pocket of my  
trousers and pulled out the small amount of money I carried from  
London. It was enough for new clothes. I needed something  
inconspicuous that would help me blend in.  
I stripped my cloak, exposing my damp clothes from London. Nothing but  
a jacket with a plain peach shirt and a neck tie and tight orange  
pants with high boots. I combed my hair to the left side. I was  
presentable in public beside my eyes. They were lighter then Edmunds,  
but still too red to call them Hazel.  
I laid the cloak over the dead bear, who I now felt sorry for. This  
was still inhumane and monstrous, but it was better than killing  
humans.  
I walked into the city limits of France with my head still down. The  
streets were now full with pedestrians and bikes. I felt people  
staring at me, ladies in particular. It couldn't be my eyes could it?  
I was keeping them down. I kept my breath held, not needing to talk or  
smell anything. I tried not to notice people's heart beats, or the  
burning my throat gave. Then I heard a loud fall. I looked up. A lady  
in a glamorous green dress was on the ground before a beefy man with  
expensive clothes on. He had his hand raised. I walked towards the  
lady, but not inhumanely fast.  
"Ma'am, are you ok?" I asked, ignoring the man, and offering a hand.  
Before she could take it, the man grabbed my shoulder twirling me  
around.  
"This is none of your business," said the man. I could hear his heart  
beat and I was only inches from his neck. I ignored it. "The lady  
doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut," he spat in my face. I looked  
up and stared him in the eye. He took several steps back at my glare.  
"Leave the lady alone," I said politely, tuning around and pulling the  
lady up slowly. The man scowled and walked away mumbling.  
"Are you ok?" I repeated  
"you're so cold" she said, looking in my eyes. Cold? I had never thought  
about it before. Was it a vampire thing? She kept staring at me, so I  
chuckled and looked down.  
"Are you going to the ball tonight?" asked the lady, still staring at  
me.  
"No ma'am, I wasn't even aware there was one," I said smiling. There  
went the air. Breath burn blinks.  
"Oh I was sure that you were invited. Only the finest gentlemen and  
ladies are invited." she said, examining my face.  
"So I take it your invited?" I commented for politeness only.  
"yes, actually," she said laughing, "and I am aloud to invite someone,  
I was taking him, but you see the situation" I saw where this was going.  
"Well, ma'am I really must be going, I hope you find someone to bring  
along," I gave a warm smile and began to walk off.  
"Wait, sir," she called  
"yes?" I asked  
"what's your name? I am Lisa Moore." she said walking towards me.  
"Carlisle, Carlisle Cullen," I said.  
"Would you accompany me to the ball, Carlisle?" 


	3. The Ball

Chapter Three

The Ball  
"Ma'am are you sure you would like for me to accompany you?" I asked  
a bit nervous about being around so many people.  
"Yes sir!" said Lisa, enthused.  
"What is the dress?" I asked, worried about that, too. She probably  
beloved I was of some wealthy royalty. She then examined me from head  
to toe, and her expression showed that it was the first time she  
realized what I was wearing.  
"Instructions read our best wear," she said, staring into my eyes again.  
"then so be it," I said flashing a smile.  
"Your eyes... They're a dark orange," she said. How was I to explain  
this phenomenon?  
"I get that all the time," I chuckled, hoping there wasn't a sharp  
edge in my voice. Breath, burn, blink.  
"Where shall we meet?" I asked her, trying to look enthusiastic.  
"Here at sunset," she said, smiling. I nodded and I walked down the  
street.  
Clothes. Clothes. I walked until I found a promising shop reading  
JOHANSENS APPAREL. I entered the shop, and thankfully there was a male  
behind the counter.  
"How can I help you, sir?" he asked me, cleaning his hands with a  
cloth. He had a black mustache and thick, combed back hair. His  
clothing was fancy.  
"I need some decent apparel for a ball," I replied, smiling sincerely.  
"Have a look around," said the man.  
I found a suit, a brown jacket with a white long sleeved undershirt  
with a frilled collar, and pants with a light coffee color.  
"How much for this, sir?" I asked the man at the counter.  
"How much you have?" asked the man. Apparently he believed I was of  
riches too. I showed him the money.  
"hmmm, all of that," said the man with a sly smile on his face. I knew  
he was pulling my leg but I handed him the money. He looked surprised.  
Breath burn blink.  
"Is this for the ball tonight?" he asked staring at the money  
incredulously.  
"Yes sir," I replied, pretending to look at the hats.  
"You were invited personally by the Warrens?" the man asked, shocked.  
"Warrens?" I asked, turning to face the man.  
"They're the richest family in town; they only invite the fairest  
people to their balls. You're not from here are you?" he asked giving me  
a funny look.  
"No, I just moved here to seek an education, and a fair lady invited  
me to the ball on the street." I answered with a smile.  
"ah, I can see why she invited you;" he said chuckling.  
"Well, I must be going," I said, as if I had something to do. Breathe  
blink burn.  
The man nodded and I walked out.  
I walked to the alley, not knowing where else to go. I ran as fast as  
possible down the alley with the clothes in hand until I saw someone  
in the distance. I crouched defensively. I heard no heart beat. Edmund?  
I approached the vampire slowly.  
"Edmund!" I said as if I saw am old friend after many years. Edmund  
looked better than last night. He had more color in his face and the  
dark circles under his eyes weren't as visible.  
"Carlisle," began Edmund, "I need to speak with you." he said standing  
up.  
"Sir?" I asked ready to listen.  
"Who was your creator?" asked Edmund.  
"I'm not sure, a sewer coven in London" I replied. Edmund nodded.  
"There are rules to being a Vampire, Carlisle," began Edmund. Rules to  
being a vampire? I'd never heard of such a thing!  
"Have you heard of the Volturi, Carlisle?" I shook my head.  
"They live in Italy. They are a very powerful group of vampires. There  
are very few rules to being a vampire, and they enforce the rules  
"the rules are that you can't kill too many humans... Which isn't a  
problem for you... You can't create vampires extensively... Once again  
not a problem for you... And last... You can't expose yourself to  
humans. Do you know what that means Carlisle?" asked the vampire calmly.  
"It means I cannot tell anyone I am a vampire," I replied  
"correct, and I see that you are going to the ball tonight... If a  
human finds out..." Edmunds voice trailed.  
"I understand, friend, I will not tell anyone, thank you, for the  
briefing," I said smiling. Edmund nodded and ran off.  
I stripped my clothes, hanging them where the wet cloak used to be.  
Someone found it. Let someone find these clothes too. I pulled on my  
new clothes and combed my hair jokingly to the left. I ran out the  
alley.  
Lisa Moore was waiting for me. I walked up to her and when she saw me  
a broad smile filled her face.  
"Hello ma'am" I said, giving a slight bow. She giggled and curtsied.  
"Oh Carlisle! Such a gentleman!" I smiled politely. We walked to the  
Warrens Manor in silence. We walked in together and thankfully hardly  
anyone seemed to notice. Only a few ladies had found me and stared.  
Lisa went to some of the other ladies and started giggling. That's  
when her friends started staring too. I was getting uncomfortable. The  
pounding of so many hearts was already bothering me, and that's  
because I wasn't breathing.  
Lisa walked towards me with the other ladies.  
"Ladies this is Carlisle Cullen," Lisa said, as if shed known me her  
entire life. I gave a slight bow, smirked and said, "Hello," some of  
the ladies giggled others just stared. I was a bit uncomfortable, and  
if I spoke anymore I was going to have to breathe. I blinked.  
I sat down at an empty table and Lisa sat across from me. We stared at  
the people dancing. She looked expectant. I couldn't dance with her,  
with her jugular so close...

"Ma'am to be quite honest, I can't dance," I said, giving a smile.  
Well I could dance, but I never had before. Being the son of a  
preacher didn't require it.  
She giggled, "A fine gentleman like you has never danced? Where you're  
from the ladies must not ask the handsomest men to dance."  
If I could blush I probably would have, but my new self wouldn't allow  
it.  
I stood up and reached my hand out. She blushed and fluttered her  
eyelashes as she stared at me. She grabbed my hand. I could feel the  
warmness of her blood. I could hear her heart. And I almost had to  
breathe.  
As we danced I held my breath and I tried to keep my eyes down so that  
se wouldn't notice my eyes again. We kept an arms distance apart. I  
blinked.  
"You're so... Graceful..." she said, staring at my eyes.  
"Yes well..." what was I going to say? I heard what Edmund said.  
"Well what?" asked Lisa now curious.  
I let out a nervous laugh. I had to make something up.  
"Well... I'm just passing through, Lisa; I'm looking for universities  
or libraries. Lisa pulled away from my arms. I breathed, and everyone's  
sweet, mouthwatering scent filled my body and told my instincts to  
lunge. To attack. To feed. I held back.  
"There's a university and library west of here." she told me, still  
staring.  
"Thank you, ma'am," I said giving another slight bow. She giggled again.  
"Will you be leaving Carlisle Cullen?" she asked me, her crisp blue  
eyes with a sad look in them at the thought of me leaving. I was about  
to say yes but I wasn't about to hurt her feelings.  
"Whatever you wish ma'am is what shall occur," I said with a soft smile.  
"Will you stay here forever?" she asked me, looking at the ground.  
"Miss Lisa, I must go to get an education. I would like to become a  
doctor." I said, with a serious tone.  
"Dr. Cullen," she said laughing, "Very well then Dr. Cullen" she  
said, "but you will stay for the rest of the ball right?" she confirmed  
with a pleading tone.  
"What time does the ball end?" I asked  
"Midnight" she answered.  
"Very well then" I smiled then took another painful breath.  
MIDNIGHT  
"It is very kind of you Sir Cullen to escort me home," she said,  
looking at me.  
"There are dangerous things out there," I said almost flinching  
because I was one of them.  
"I'm sure you could fend them off Sir Cullen," she said in a serious  
tone.  
"not all of them," I whispered, knowing there were more powerful  
vampires.  
"Who is them Sir Cullen?" she asked. I took a slow breath and  
swallowed to resist the burn.  
"Evil," I said, feeling guilty.  
"You mean like vampires?" asked Lisa in a whisper. I nodded.  
"Have you ever seen one?" she questioned. I was going to have to lie.  
"No," I replied for her safety as well as mine.  
"Although they're evil, I heard it's a gift to see one because they  
have the face of an Angel." she stopped In front of a tall building  
with many windows.  
"I live here," she said. I nodded.  
"Sir Carlisle, thank you." I nodded again and gave a bow. She didn't  
giggle. Then I asked her what I had been thinking.  
"Have you seen a vampire?" I asked her, looking in her eyes.  
"No but I've seen an angel."  
3AM  
I walked west, not sure exactly where to go. There was no pedestrians  
out on the streets, but I still kept my head down and walked at a  
normal pace. For a human it would be cold, and nearly no visibility.  
But I could in fact see everything. Every drop of moister in the air  
and every particle of dust. I walked on the sidewalks. I wasn't  
afraid. What was there to fear?  
I continued walking until I found a huge building about three stories  
tall and very wide. It read Library of France 1545.  
The lights were on. I walked up to the building and opened the door.  
It was full of books. More books then I had ever seen. The shelves  
were full of dust and so was the air. Hardly anyone used the library.  
I heard a faint heartbeat. Maybe from across the building. The heart  
got closer. I didn't crouch in defense because it was a human. Then I  
saw her. She had red hair in waves and square glasses that covered her  
eyes. She wore a brown dress. She was staring at me and I was staring  
at her. I didn't breath and I tried to focus my hearing on the  
grandfather clock. She didn't speak. She just stared.  
I broke the awkward silence.  
"Ma'am, my name is Carlisle Cullen, I am looking for a place to study  
at night, and I was wondering if I could do so here?" I asked in the  
sincerest voice I could pull. I smiled slightly and raised my eyebrows  
waiting for an answer. "Ma'am?" I asked choking back a chuckle  
"oh, yes, I'm Lorese Larson. I am the night time librarian. We are open  
all day. You can study here all you like," she said with a huge smile.  
She blinked several times. Then I remembered my eyes. I looked down.  
"Thank you Miss Larson," I said nodding and walking away.  
"Mr. Cullen," she called, I turned around, "if you need anything you  
can find me here."  
"Thank you," I said, walking off. If I was to be a doctor I would have  
to study all night, math and science and history and arts and  
languages. And I had forever. A lonely forever.  
If all these ladies knew what I was would they still want me? Would  
they still want a monster? Did the little boy Treel Cullen just make  
it up when he said I was good? Did Lisa see through me and act like  
she saw me as something good? Was Edmund right about the animal blood  
thing?  
No. He was wrong and the rest were right. I could be good and I didn't  
have to be a monster. Carlisle Cullen was going to be the first good  
vampire. 


	4. Studying

Chapter Four

Studying

Where to start? I had never ending time before me and an unlimited  
amount of recourses. I should start with math and science, and then move  
to arts and language.  
I walked to the area of the library titled nonfiction and walked to  
the science section. I found several promising books on disease and  
infection. Then I move to math and found several books on variables  
and equations. I went to sit down in a dim corner of the library and  
opened the book on disease. There was just so much to learn! I began  
reading the book, when I heard an approaching heart. It was the  
librarian, who was about half the room away, and she was approaching  
me, with a huge smile. I pretended I didn't notice her and I kept  
reading. I heard her stop right next to me and I held my breath.  
"Sir Carlisle?" she asked looking towards me. I had my fingers on my  
temples like I was thinking hard and when she called my name I closed  
the book, took my fingers off my head and turned to look towards her.  
"Yes ma'am?" I asked. Please not another ball.  
"Well I just wanted to see if you needed help finding anything but it  
seems that you found everything you need. What exactly are you  
studying?" she asked, looking in my eyes.  
"Everything," I said smiling and laughing at the same time. I lost all  
my breath with the laugh.  
"Ok well... If you need anything I'm, you know, over there," she said  
fluttering her lashes as she walked away, almost falling. I nodded and  
gave a warm smile that caused her to stumble. Oops.

I glanced at the grandfather clock way across the room. I saw 5:30.  
That means the sun would be up in an hour and that also meant I had to  
find somewhere to hide. I waved to Mrs. Larson and she waved  
disappointedly. I went farther west, and I found an old abandoned  
building with all the windows boarded off. I entered through a hole on  
the roof. It was perfect. It even had an old book shelf and desk.  
It would need a lot of work, but it was a quiet and dark place to study  
that no one could enter. I walked around the room examining it. What  
would I do during the day? I could check out books from the library  
and bring them here. But study day and night? All alone? Was that the  
life I wanted to live? I knew hardly anything about my anatomy and how  
to even create another vampire. I could vaguely remember what happened  
to me. That's what I would do. I would study vampires. Maybe meet a  
few like Edmund and get more information. But where would I find a  
vampire? The only one who would know where one is is a preacher but he  
would see through me for what I really was. That's when I heard a bump  
on the roof.  
There was no heartbeat so it was no animal. But it was moving. Then  
I heard something fall on the floor. There were four of them with red eyes, and old ripped clothes. I crouched in defense  
and the only female, a red head, giggled, "What are you going to do  
Carlisle Cullen?" she asked. I crouched lower and showed my teeth.  
"Peace Syar," said the smallest but most authorative looking of the  
males.  
"Carlisle Cullen my clan and I are not going to harm you, Syar simply  
heard your thoughts and considered that we pay a visit," he said. He  
was about as tall as I, and he had shoulder length black hair.  
"Heard my thoughts?" I said, relaxing my position.  
"Introductions first!" insisted the dark haired vampire. "I am Romoer,  
that is Syra, and those two are Dokod and Puyod." Unusual names. The  
two other vampires had short blonde hair that was combed forward  
neatly. However their faces were all flawless their clothes were rags.  
"I'm Carlisle Cullen; you must not be from here?"  
Syra spoke, "We have been of our kind much longer then you Carlisle  
Cullen, we are from here, but from as far back as we can remember,"  
I fought a growl, and I turned to Romoer, "And you haven't got  
established?" I said examining their clothing. Syra must have read my  
thoughts because she snarled. Romoer ignored it, "There is no such  
thing as establishment for vampires... Except the Vultori," I nodded  
about the Vultori part. At least I knew that.  
"Syra says you do not kill humans-" "because he's weak," Syra  
interrupted. I ignored it this time and so did Romoer.  
"No, I feast off the blood of animals," I said with a smile.  
"and does it keep you equally strong?" asked Romoer.  
"I don't know, to be honest," I said frowning.  
"Let's test that," Syra said crouching. Romoer was going to speak but  
I did first. "Peace Syra, I mean no harm to you and your clan," I said  
putting a hand up.  
"And where's your clan? Oh that's right you're all alone" she chanted. I  
clenched my jaw.  
"How do you- create a vampire?" I asked hesitantly.  
"You don't remember your own creation?" asked Romoer.  
"I do but- I'm not sure how it- happened," I said looking at him.  
"You have to get bitten, and then you go through exactly three days of  
burning pain." If I was human I would have flinched at the memory but  
I wasn't.  
"Is there any way to suppress the pain?" I asked, curiously. Romoer  
shook his head.  
"How long have you been a vampire, Carlisle Cullen?"  
"A couple of months at most," I said.  
"You're a new born? Your control is very- fascinating," said Romoer  
"Excuse me?" I said, taking interest.  
"When you are created the first instinct you have is to feed. You are  
always hungry and most new borns can't stand to be near a human  
without killing- and you have never even tasted a drop of human  
blood." he replied. Syra guffawed. Then she lunged.  
I didn't want to hurt Syra, so to insure our safety I rolled out of  
her path. Dokod also lunged, tackling Syra on the beautiful desk.  
Puyod walked forward.  
"I'm sorry, my sister can be a very mean person." he said in an accent.  
"You're forgiven," I said, combing my hair to the side. Syra was  
growling and trying to fight Dokod but he was too strong. "We will  
always be in reach, Carlisle," Romoer showed his teeth in neither a  
smile nor threat. I nodded. Puyod waved and climbed out of the hole in  
the ceiling followed by Romoer.  
Dokod was still holding Syra so he grabbed her and pulled her in his  
arms and flew out the opening in the ceiling.

I was left alone in the room with a broken desk and dusty bookshelf.  
Then my eyes caught something across the room, in a corner. A book. I  
saw that it read MED a-z. I flew across the room picked it up and  
opened the pages. It was a medical book, that had types of remedies  
and diseases. I found myself captivated on the thick book, and I just  
stood there, reading, my legs never tired, nor my eyes. That's when I  
noticed the sun had gone down. I was on letter D in the thick volume.  
I set the book down in the book shelf and decided I would read that in  
the day and study at night.  
I slowly climbed out of the room and jumped from the roof to the  
ground. I ran towards the library. I entered the library as quietly  
and quickly as possible so I wouldn't grab the librarian's attention. I  
walked swiftly to the back corner of the room where I had studied  
yesterday. There was my stack of books that I had chosen another  
one. There was a note on that stack of books reading:  
Mr. Cullen,  
I thought you might like these books  
MS. Larson.  
The MS. Was in capital letters. I chuckled. I looked at the books she  
picked out. Cellular Anatomy, The Earth's Crust and Polygons. Decent  
books.  
I looked for the book on disease I had started the other day and  
tossed it out, because I would study that in the day. I opened the  
book on algebra and equations. I sat there undisturbed all night, and  
at five AM I stood up and walked toward the door. Ms .Larson was  
there. "Oh, Sir Carlisle! I didn't hear you enter last night!" She  
said. "Did you enjoy the books?" she asked. I smiled and nodded still  
walking towards the door. I had to get back before sunrise.  
"Yes ma'am, thank you!" I said walking out the door. 


	5. The Vultori

Chapter Five

The Vultori

(Before comment: Carlisle was studying in Italy still sober of human  
blood, and he had not encountered any vampires. The year is 1767 and  
it is 9:00 PM)

I grabbed my books from the shelf and walked across the room to  
another desk. There was a vampire. The first I'd seen in 100 years  
exactly. He was staring at me, at my eyes, probably at the strange  
color. He was the most elegant vampire I'd ever seen, though, dressed  
in finer clothes then I and he had combed hair. He was brawny, and had  
ear length black hair. I had recognized his face before. In France?  
London? Both? I stood up and was about to leave the library when he  
stood up and put a hand out in front of me. I glared.  
"Can I help you?" I said as nicely as possible.  
"I am Demitri. Aro would like to speak to you."  
"Aro?" I asked curious  
"I will introduce you if you follow Me." he said. I could tell by his  
face that it wasn't an option if I went or not.  
"Very well, Demitri, I'm-"  
"Carlisle Cullen, I know who you are" he snarled in disgust. What did  
I do for him not to like me?  
I followed him into the night.  
"Can you keep up?" he asked in a growl.  
"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, wondering still why he didn't like me.  
"That blood you drink," he spat, "who knows what that could do to  
you." he laughed then he took off.  
I followed him easily and he looked disappointed that I could.  
We didn't run for too long and when we stopped we were in a timeless  
stone hallway with dim torches leading the way. We then went up twenty  
eight flights of stairs before we reached a room. No it wasn't a room  
it was more. It was beautiful. The floors were marbled and the ceiling  
had beautiful paintings. There were three thrones, and in them sat  
three old vampires with the skin of a ghost. One of them had long  
straight dark hair, another long blonde, and the last curly brown.  
They were all dressed of royalty. There were others in the room too.  
All vampires and all dressed for riches.  
"Friend!" the vampire in the middle throne stood up and extended his  
arms. He hugged me and when he released he had a curious look on his  
face.  
"Hello my name is Carlisle Cullen" I said with a smile and small nod.  
"I am Aro," he replied with a creepy smile. I stood their awkwardly  
not knowing what to say.  
"You already met Dimitri and this is Marcus, Caius, Jane, Alec, and  
Felix." I gave a timid wave and the girl named Jane laughed aloud.  
"What brings me here today?" I asked towards Aro.  
"Demitri is a tracker. He can track anyone by their scent. One day  
while you were in London he reported to me saying there was an orange  
eyed vampire. I was curious, so I sent him to track you." I glared at  
Demitri and he scowled. "I see you aspire to be a doctor, Carlisle?"  
He added after a few moments.  
"Yes sir, that is true, but if you don't mind me asking, how did you  
know that?" I asked staring into Aro's piercing red eyes.  
"You've met someone like me before. Syra! Yes, she had a special  
talent. As so do I. At a single touch I could hear every thought  
you've ever thought." I widened my eyes in surprise.  
"Are there other that have these gifts" I asked.  
"Indeed, we have some on the Vultori guard. We have Marcus who senses  
relationships, Jane who causes extreme pain, Alec- who makes you feel  
absolutely nothing, Chelsa who can change your emotions, and Renata  
who is a shield. Then we have you Carlisle..." his voice trailed  
letting me think. This was the Vultori, the ones that Edmund had told  
me about and a majority have supernatural powers. Then he ended his  
explanation with me.  
"Sir Aro I have no super natural powers," I said with a tight smile.  
"No? Do you not have extreme compassion?" he asked.  
"Sir but-"  
"There is an outside result, a physical result, you do not kill humans  
and you can resist human blood." Aro sped back to his throne, sat down  
and clasped his hands in his lap.  
"we would like for you to join the Vultori guard," Aro finished. Caius  
and Marcus looked shocked, and Demitri and Jane had a shared look of  
disgust.  
Caius recovered from the shock.  
"You can refuse," Caius added, with hope in his voice. What were the  
pros?  
"Do you have a library?" I asked  
"the largest in Italy," Aro commented.  
"I can leave whenever I like?"  
"Of course!"  
"Can I continue my diet?"  
"That will be fascinating to examine, but of course!" Aro enthused.  
And the cons.  
"You drink human blood?" I asked  
"I'm afraid so," said Aro glumly.  
"Lots of it," Jane hissed.  
"Do you kill other vampires?"  
Aro nodded, looking bored. The pros outweighed the cons.  
"I accept." I said smiling. Jane and Demitri looked at each other and  
Aro stood up and clapped."Carlisle, we have many things to- discuss- although I have read  
your thoughts, I am still curious, why do you. Feed off the blood of  
animals?" he looked at me with fierce red eyes.  
"I don't want to be evil," I said looking down.  
"Are you calling me evil?" Aro asked with an entertained smile on his  
face  
"No," I added quickly, "just the thought of killing a human (if I  
could wince I would) is evil. It can make you evil." Aro laughed  
hysterically.  
"Carlisle, it was meant for vampires to feast on human blood! It makes  
us strong!" he said waving his arms as he spoke.  
"Why do we need all the strength? To kill more humans? If we didn't  
kill humans the strength would not be necessary!" I said calmly, still  
looking down. Aro once again laughed.  
"Carlisle if you would just try a drop of human blood you would  
understand why we need-"  
"want, Aro-" I interrupted.  
Aro looked offended but he began talking again.  
"Just one drop Carlisle!" he tempted.  
"I refuse!" I said sternly looking up at Aro's eyes.  
"Very well," said Aro walking away.  
Caius and Marcus just sat there and stared at us.  
There was an archway leading to the outdoors, so I walked to it,  
revealing the shockingly beautiful night sky. The streets below were  
empty and quiet. I hopped down from the balcony, falling on the street.  
"Carlisle Cullen." said a childish voice from behind me. I had not  
heard a heartbeat. Vampire. I turned to face the voice.  
"Jane," I said with a thin smile.  
"What brings you out here in the middle of the night?" chanted Jane  
with a wicked smile.  
"Peace." I said turning back around to look at the stars.  
"There is no such thing," said Jane stepping besides me.  
"What brings you here?" I asked Jane.  
Jane showed her teeth.  
"Ahhh," I mused, nodding.  
"I will get you Carlisle Cullen. Aro had permitted me from hurting  
you, but I will get you," and with that she sped off into the night.

I jumped high back onto the balcony and walked into the throne room.  
Aro was standing and so was Felix. Demitri was holding someone on  
their knees to the ground. It was a vampire. I stood on the balcony  
silent.  
"You decide to not abide with the rules, and feast on an entire  
village of people?" asked Aro pacing before the vampire. The vampire  
had long stringing brown hair. His eyes were the bloodiest of red I'd  
ever seen.  
"I just got out of control!" said the vampire in a beautiful but  
raspy voice.  
"You need to learn control. Look at my friend Carlisle here. He has  
never feasted on a human!" the vampire turned my way and turned his  
head the looked at my bright orange eyes.  
"He only feast on animals! That's control!" clapped Aro. The vampire  
looked away from me.  
"How about you Aro? Feasting on groups of humans!" spat the vampire.  
"Felix!" Aro called, snapping his fingers towards the vampire. Felix  
acted like he could crack his knuckles. He then stepped up towards  
the knelling vampire and took his head in his hands. I looked away but  
I heard a crack. 


	6. Decisions

Chapter Six

Decisions

I sat on the balcony as the fire burned in the building. I could  
smell the burning flesh clearly through my nose. I scowled. I couldn't  
just stand there and let them kill somebody, but I did. Maybe there  
was nothing I could do about myself being evil. Maybe I was just  
damned regardless. But even If I am then I will still do the right  
thing. But wouldn't the right thing to do be saving the vampire? No,  
because of the village of people he killed. But should the cost for  
any crime be death? Yes if you caused it. Right?  
I shook my head in disgust. How could I live with myself? I didn't  
even know myself anymore. I was living with killer vampires who enjoy  
others pain. Pain. Wasn't that what I was supposed to prevent? As a  
doctor? As a human being? But wait- I'm not a human being but I am  
humane. I must act so, so shouldn't the right thing to do to be  
stopping the killing?  
I sighed frustrated. I would go to the library. I approached Caius,  
who seemed to be the friendliest towards me.  
"Where is your library?" I asked with eyebrows raised.  
"Down six flights of stairs and on the last door to the left." said  
Caius grimly.  
I nodded and sped off to the library.  
The library was larger than any library Id ever been in. It had floors  
and floors and rows and rows of books. I had eternal access to it.  
Eternal.  
"Medical, medical..." I whispered looking around the library for any  
sense of order. I saw none so I started browsing the books. They were  
by year, starting at 108. 108? I was shocked. I shook it off and went  
up a few floors until I reached 1600's. I heard footsteps and I turned.  
"I see you found the library!" said Aro with a huge smile. I nodded.  
"Can I help you find anything?" asked Aro seeing my frustration.  
"Medical books, 1600's" I asked with a smile. He nodded and swept the  
shelf in five seconds and when he stopped he held a tall stack of  
books effortlessly.  
"Here you are," he said, handing them to me slightly amused.  
"Thank you," I said nodding and then jumping off the balcony in search  
of a desk to study at. I found one in the corner of the library and I  
sat there with my stack of books. I set the books down on the floor  
and grabbed the first and began reading.  
I heard the ringing of distant bells at the change of hour. It was  
five AM and I was about to leave but then I remembered I didn't have  
to leave and I could stay there forever. But I had already read  
through an entire book so I got up from the chair for the first time  
in five hours. I ran up the six flights of stairs back up to the large  
room.  
The room was empty, except for Jane who was sitting at the steps at  
Aro's throne.  
"Jane?" I said as a greeting.  
"Carlisle." she said more as a threat.  
"Where is everybody?" I asked her looking around.  
"They should be back soon from hunting," she said, "they leave me here  
to guard the fort," she smiled evilly.  
"Why you?" I asked. She was the smallest of the vampires.  
"I can cause pain like no other, remember?" I nodded. She looked like  
she really wanted to cause ME pain.  
"What is there to do around here?" I asked thinking about what they do  
on all their time.  
"Nothing," said Jane, standing up and speeding away.  
I was left standing there, completely clueless on my duties as a  
Vultori member. If I would hurry I could hunt before daylight. With  
the thought I jumped out of the window and I sped off Ito the darkness.  
It was a few seconds before I made it to the forest, but when I got  
there the air smelt of blood. Human blood. Exposed human blood. I held  
my breath and grabbed into a tree, nearly breaking it with force. I  
tensed. I never had been so close to human blood left out like that.  
My throat burned furiously for the first time in a long time. My  
senses told me to go drink the blood. Then I noticed that I heard no  
heart beat. The person was already dead. I kept my breath held but I  
approached where I had smelt the blood. There was no human there.  
Instead there was a bowl filled neatly with blood. Beside the bowl was  
a note:  
Hope you enjoy.  
I scowled. It was Aro or Jane or some Vultori member. I would show  
them I wouldn't give in that easily. I grabbed the bowl with the tips  
of my fingers and didn't look at it or hear the sloshing sound or  
smell it. I just held it and ran towards the Vultori's building. I  
would have to wait to hunt.  
I jumped up onto the balcony, the blood in my hands. Everyone turned  
to me, expecting red eyes. I decided to be melodramatic. I put the  
bowl on the floor and kicked it to the three thrones.  
"I will not fall for this, Aro," I said standing with clenched fist.  
Aro looked tempted to drink the blood.  
"It was not I who did this to you Carlisle," Aro offered. That's when  
I noticed how angry Jane looked.  
"it was-" although Jane did that to me I wasn't ready to get anyone in  
trouble.  
"Probably an accident," I smiled and walked to the stairwell. I heard  
foot steps follow. I jumped down the stairs to the first floor and  
walked into a sitting room. The footsteps followed. Light footsteps.  
"Jane?" I asked without turning around.  
"You defended me" she said with- disgust?  
"Yes," I said.  
"Why would you do that?" said Jane.  
"Because-"  
"Because you have no intelligence at all. You need to learn to fend  
for yourself. No one wants you here Carlisle. Except Aro. Leave before  
my plans do work and you are forced to taste the luscious blood," and  
with that evil smirk Jane walked out  
the sun had risen so that meant I was stuck inside until night. I  
sat in the sitting room on a comfortable arm chair. I closed my eyes  
and tried to sleep although I knew it was impossible. I let myself  
think and try to remember 100 years back when I was human. I remember  
that my father was a pastor who often killed innocent people. I  
remembered that I didn't want to kill anyone or anything. And I didn't  
get the chance because I got bit. It was meant for me not kill. And I  
would keep it that way. It was a sign that I would keep seriously 


	7. Murder

Chapter Seven

Murder

1767

5:00 AM  
I slammed my book closed and rubbed my temples. It's not like they  
hurt or anything but I was frustrated. Was living with the Vultori  
really what I wished to do? Maybe I'd stay for a few decades and leave  
or maybe they would succeed in trying to make me drink...  
No it would not happen. Never.  
But if I did leave where would I leave to? The new world? Where a  
revolution of their own was occurring? Or would I stay in Europe?  
I couldn't think in the library, I needed to be outdoors where it was  
quiet. I needed to be back to the building before the sun rose. Then I  
felt a slight ache in my throat. Was it thirst? How long had it been  
since I fed?  
Then I remembered. The last time I was hunting Jane put the bowl of  
Human blood in my path and I never got to feed.  
And now that I finally have an ache in my throat after- three weeks? I  
don't know if I could pull off if I ran into a human. I looked at the  
grandfather clock. 5:24. It was getting close to daylight and if I was  
going to feed I was going to have to do it now. And fast.  
I soared out the window leading to the humid morning air. I started  
sprinting vampire sprinting. And then I picked up the smell of blood.  
I didn't have time to register what type of blood though because I was  
too thirsty and I pounced. Luckily, it was a deer, and not a human, and  
by the time I realized it, the deer was dry and I was full. The pain  
in my throat was long gone.  
I sprinted back to the Edifice and hopped in through the throne room  
balcony. Aro and Marcus were absent. Only Caius sat in his throne.  
"Ahh, Carlisle, hunting? Your eyes are the yellowiest I've seen them."  
Caius laughed like it was a private joke.  
"Yes when I feed my eyes tend to get yellow and yours seem to get  
red," I added just to make him stop laughing.  
Caius rose, but not in an offensive way. He started pacing around.  
"So, Carlisle, do you remember anything from your previous life?"  
Caius asked.  
"Actually yes, I remember my mother died giving birth to me, father  
was a pastor and he often led hunts to destroy- evil things and one  
day I was put in charge- and I turned into- this" I said, trying to  
block out the bad memories of the changing process.  
"Ah-" Caius said and whatever he was going to say, he wasn't going to  
say it anymore, instead he went to sit at his throne again. I stood  
there a couple minutes in silence and then Aro and Marcus entered the  
room, laughing and smiling.  
"Ah! Carlisle! We have a little gift for you;" Marcus and Caius looked  
at Aro in a befuddled expression.  
"One moment," Aro said as he sped out the room. He reentered the room  
holding something. It was rather large and he set it down behind  
Marcus' throne. That's when I realized what it was. It was a throne.  
It was smaller than the other three but this one was made if brown  
leathery material instead of stone.  
"Here you are," Aro said, taking a seat in his own throne.  
That's when I realized that they did expect me to stay forever.  
"Aro, I cannot accept this- gift. If I were to one day leave the  
Vultori-"  
"All taken into consideration," Aro smiled.  
I nodded and took a seat to Marcus' right. Then the double doors  
leading to the chamber burst open.  
It was Jane and Alec, pulling along an old vampire. He literally looked  
old. He had fluffy white hair and a beard that looked fried.  
He had ancient grey eyes and rags for clothes. He had withered powdery  
skin.  
"We found this one on the roof," Jane said tossing the vampire forward.  
"What is your name?" Aro asked.  
"Justrain, you are the Vultori! You are Aro Marcus Caius and-" he  
stopped at me. I felt ashamed to be sitting in the throne of a  
murderer, but I was glad he didn't know my name.  
The vampire began to laugh.  
"You keep a yellow eyed pet!" Justrain hollered.  
"His name is Carlisle and he is a member of the Vultori Guard ad much  
as Jane and Alec are.  
Justrain got quiet.  
"Why he have yellow eyes?" Asked Justrain, slightly nervous.  
"That is none of your business. It is ours and what is also our  
business is why you were on the roof," Aro said, clapping his hands.  
"I was looking for a human. I'm thirsty," he winced at the word  
thirsty, "This is the highest building in the area!"  
"Did you hear us speaking when you were up there?" Aro asked. I could  
have sworn the vampires eyes flashed to me.  
"No," said Justrain.  
"Come here," Aro motioned Justrain forward," Give me your hand."  
Justrain did as told.  
Aro's eyebrows shot up.  
"Liar." Aro whispered and Aro looked at me. Apparently, Justrain had  
heard Cauis and my conversation.  
"Would you do the honor, Carlisle?" I knew Aro was asking me to kill  
Justrain. I wouldn't do it. I shook my head.  
Aro sighed.  
"Very well then, Felix?" I looked away as Felix approached Justrain.  
"Carlisle!" it was Justrains voice. "Save me! Please! You are a good  
vampire plea-" I heard cracking and just like that Justrain was gone.  
I felt ashamed. I could have stopped them.  
"What did he do to break the law?" I asked standing up.  
"He would have been fine if he would not have lied." Aro said, looking  
at me.  
I scowled. I wanted to escape to the outdoors but the sun was rising.  
I shook my head and was about to escape back to the library but I heard  
Aro's voice.  
"Carlisle?"  
"Aro?" I said trying to contain my anger.  
"We have another gift for you." Aro said with a smile  
"I will be thankful to receive it," I replied with a tight smile.  
"Follow me," Aro said, speeding out the room.  
I followed him and went down to flights of stairs, down a blood red  
hallway and to the last door on the left.  
"We arranged this study specifically for you."  
I was TRULY thankful. It was a large room, about the same size as a  
floor of their library. There was a large desk in the corner with an  
unnecessary candle. All four walls were covered in book shelves and all  
the book shelves were full. I went to a wall. It had math and science.  
I went to another wall arts and language. I went to another and it had  
history and geography. I went to the last wall and it was covered in  
medical books.  
"I am very grateful Aro," I said, going to examine the mahogany desk.  
Aro nodded and sped out

~a glimpse in  
Carlisle's mind~

I examined the room. It was perfect. It even had a grandfather clock.  
If only I had someone to share it with. I went and sat on the desk  
instead of the chair.  
I put my head in my hands. I rubbed my temples. If a vampire could cry  
I probably would have.  
You're probably thinking I'm a baby. But I already lived 100 years of my  
second life alone with no companion or anyone. It was getting  
depressing. Would I go on living forever without someone? What if I  
never found the right vampire for me? What if she just isn't out  
there? Who could I be with? I thought about how even Marcus and Aro  
and Caius have wives. Although I have amazing control and I've never  
killed sometimes I think they're better then I because they have a  
family. They have something to live for. And I have nothing but a  
small hope of saving human lives. And that's it. Nothing more.  
Who would love me? A vampire who's completely damned and is weak. No  
one.


	8. Change

Chapter Eight

Change

I continued to study in the dim room, mostly reading medical books  
and science books. I m already pretty positive that being a doctor was  
what I want. But I fear that if someone comes in loosing blood,  
gushing blood- that I won't be able to control myself. I almost lost  
it hunting, when Jane set down the bowl of human blood. I can't afford  
to lose control like that. But I DID regain control enough to hold  
bowl to my chest and carry it back to Aro. I give myself cheers for  
that. Was it luck? Maybe it was, but it still shows I have enough  
control to be around humans with exposed blood. I'll just have to  
feed often.  
But none of my doctorly business matters right now because I'm still  
stuck with the Vultori. The murderers.  
Just then the room to my study opened. And unexpectedly I heard a  
heart beat. It was a human. I turned around in my seat. It was a woman  
about my age with long dark hair and golden tan skin. I breathed from  
habit and I immediately regretted it. The sweetest most luscious sent  
I'd inhaled filled my lungs. I fought not to lunge.  
"Yes ma'am?" I struggled  
"Aro said to enjoy," the woman said puzzled. By that I knew he didn't  
mean the study. He meant her.  
"Tell him thank you, but no thank you," I responded, with my throat  
slightly burning. She smiled and walked out. Was this ever going to  
end? A few seconds later I heard a scream. And after that I heard  
vampire running and then Aro appeared in my door way.  
"How do u maintain so much... Control? I couldn't control myself so I  
sent her to you." Aro licked his lips. I could tell he had her for  
dessert by the color of his eyes.  
"Aro, I've already informed you that I only hunt animals. I refuse to  
hunt humans. Refuse." I said as calmly as I could manage. Aro just  
rolled his eyes and sped off...  
1789  
1:00 AM  
you can't do this. It's too perfect. No it's not perfect they kill.  
But look around you. Books and books.  
And killers. You must leave  
But where will I go  
to the new world  
and do what  
be a doctor  
I arguing with myself daily. But today was the day. I was leaving. I  
had accumulated enough money from petty things to go off on my own. I  
could buy a passage way to the New World. I could be a doctor.  
I walked slowly up the stairs and that was not normal for a vampire.  
The redness of the walls made me wince.  
I walked in the throne room and Aro was standing there with clasped  
hands.  
"Could you have walked any slower?" Aro told me. He sounded aggravated.  
"Aro, we need to talk," I said mumbling.  
"What is there to talk about?"  
"I'm leaving, Aro."  
"May I ask why?" he didn't look as surprised as he made his voice  
sound. His eyes were black. That's why he was moody.  
"You know enough why Aro. You kill. Which I disapprove of. And worse  
enough you try to get me to" I shook my head disapprovingly.  
"Fine. Take all the books you want and leave," Aro said, returning to  
his throne. I tried to keep my shocked expression from my face.  
"Thank you Aro," I said speeding out the door.  
I only grabbed one book. Medical a-z.  
I decided I needed to go to Europe, because it was closest to the sea.  
I had just fed the night before. I was not thirsty. So I made a quick  
decision and I sped off west.

I reached Europe at dawn. It was, amazingly, and thankfully, a cloudy  
day. No sparkles today. I went as far west as possible until I met sea  
and there were many docks.  
Right away I spotted a crowded dock with people raising their hands. I  
walked over there. I tapped the nearest MALE at the dock on the  
shoulder. In response he grunted.  
"Sir, where does this ship lead?"  
"The New World." he responded. I nodded. Perfect.  
"Any teachers?" the man standing on a crate on the end of the dock  
asked. Two women raised their hands and stepped forward. They handed  
the man money.  
"Is this for individual riders?" I asked the man. He nodded again.  
"Any blacksmith?" asked the man and three men raised their hands.  
"What is your occupation?" I asked the man.  
"I am a doctor." said the man.  
"Well then! So am I!" I said smirking.  
"You are in the individual riders?" asked the man, looking at me for  
the first time. He noticed my elegant clothing too, by the way he  
scanned me.  
"Yes Sir," I said with a friendly smile.  
"Any Doctors?" the man called. The man and I raised our hands. As we  
walked by I heard ladies giggle. I held laughter back.  
"How much?" I asked the man on the crate.  
"Twenty Five," he said scowling, "Shouldn''t be a problem for YOU."  
I didn't know if he was referring to what I was wearing or my  
occupation but I handed him the money. He grunted.  
I walked on board. It was a small ship. The wood looked old and  
rotted. The mast were huge, however. The other doctor held out a hand  
to me.  
"Hello, I am Doctor Jackson Davis" he said. He was wearing similar  
clothes to I, except his were worn. He had a black beard and mustache  
with eyebrow length black hair and blue eyes. He was chewing a cigar.  
Not very healthy.  
"Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen," I said shaking his hand. He shivered.  
Typical.  
"The man charged us Cabin price, meaning we get a cabin, with two per  
cabin. Would you share a cabin with me?" the man asked me. I smiled  
nervously.  
"Sure why not." we walked down stairs together. It was dark and it had  
a disgusting odor. We finally reached a large room. It had small cots.  
The man kept walking, though into another room. This room had two  
beds, a dresser and a candle. The man set his brief case on the right  
bed. I sat on the other. After he shoved things in the dresser he sat  
down too.  
"Where you a doctor at?"  
He asked me. I was going to have to lie. I had more doctor experience  
then him, more than likely, but I'd never been in the field.  
"Italy," I replied, smiling.  
"Ah, I was in London. But my wife caught a ship to The New World  
without me because I had a surgery, but it was her only chance to  
leave before-" he stopped. I could see worry on his eyes. "And you?  
You're not married?" he asked through narrow eyes.  
"No sir." I said raising my eyebrows.  
"Why?"  
I was going to have to make something up, of course, because I  
couldn't tell him about how I wasn't just going to create a companion.  
"I haven't found her yet," I said with a real frown. That At least was  
true. The man laughed.  
"This is an individual trip. That means ladies alone, Mr. Cullen. And  
you should have seen how they were looking at you!" the man's cigar  
bobbled up and down as he laughed. I laughed too.  
"so, Mr. Cullen, where are you from?"  
"Call me Carlisle- and I was born in London," I said.  
"London? You don't sound British. I mean, look at me!" he said  
laughing.  
"I have been in Italy a while" a longer while then humanly possible.  
The man nodded and lay back on the bed, staring at the wood above us.  
I knew he was thinking of his wife. I didn't know what to say.  
Speaking about doctors didn't seem appropriate.  
"What's her name?" I asked Jackson Davis.  
"Laney." I wanted to get him talking.  
"What is she like?"  
"She's beautiful. She has golden hair and green eyes with specks of  
gold that come out in the moon light. She's the funniest and warmest  
personality you've ever imagined. She can really make you happy when  
you're down." He was sad when he was speaking. I could tell he hadn't  
spoken to anyone about this.  
"What happened to her?" I asked, seeking information.  
"Her father would hurt her. Would beat her. As soon as she met me we  
got married. We knew we were right for each other. Her father found out  
and wanted to kill her for just running off. She needed to leave. She  
got on the next ship out to America. I couldn't leave my work. I had  
to wait before I could leave.  
"I haven't heard from Laney in a couple of months. She said somehow we  
will find each other again. But American is big." finished Jackson. I  
didn't say anything. I just nodded and walked on deck 


	9. Sailing

Chapter Nine

Sailing 

The deck was now crowded and I felt slightly uncomfortable, so I move  
to the farthest corner of the ship and looked at the water. I heard  
someone approaching me but I didn't turn. I waited until the person  
was next to me. It was a woman, with fabulous curly brown hair and  
sharp blue eyes. She had on the grandest dress I'd ever seen. And she  
was beautiful. I didn't really want to talk to her, but still, I had  
to be a gentleman. I turned to her, did I slight bow and removed my  
beret. She giggled and in response I smirked and said, "How can  
Carlisle Cullen be of assistance to you ma'am?"  
She was staring at me and she didn't say anything. I cleared my  
throat. She looked away from me, embarrassed and then replied,  
"Actually Mr. Cullen I noticed how lonely you were and I decided to  
join you," I snickered.  
"Please don't call me Mr. Cullen" I said smiling.  
"Oh would you like for me to call you Dr. Cullen?" she responded,  
looking ashamed.  
"Oh, no ma'am, I meant to call me Carlisle." I said raising my eyebrows.  
"Oh," she said giggling. There was an awkward silence. Someone  
announced we were leaving.  
"I will be heading back to my cabin miss-"  
"Miss Elise Royce!" she said with a curtsey.  
"Yes Miss Royce, I must be going. It's been a pleasure to meet you!" I  
said walking across the deck to the stairs. I walked back to the small  
room. Jackson was reading a medical science book he'd brought along. I  
already had my medical a-z memorized. It was a thick and expensive  
book that only riches could squire. Jackson was eyeing it.  
"You can read it," I said with a smile, handing it to him. He smiled  
and set the book down beside him.  
"Meet anyone on board?" I knew what he was referring to.  
"Well, not entirely but a woman by the name of Miss Elise Royce did  
greet me," I said, laying on the bed for no reason. Suddenly Jackson  
froze.  
"Elise Royce?" he asked slowly.  
"Yes. You know her?"  
"You don't? Was she elegantly dressed?" Jackson asked,  
"Well, yes," I said nervously.  
"Carlisle! How do you not know who that is?" he asked with wide eyes.  
"I've been in Italy a while. Is he local?" I was curious now.  
"Carlisle, have you been keeping tabs on American Revolution Generals?"  
The truth was no. I had little access it current events in Italy. I  
shook my head.  
"She is General Royce daughter! The leader of the Army over Boston!  
Besides my wife she is the finest lady in the land!" I chuckled at the  
"besides my wife part"  
"Well that's interesting I said," chuckling again. Jackson just smiled.  
Suddenly someone appeared in the doorway. It was a messy old man with  
a dirty Grey beard and wrinkled face.  
"We need all the men on deck." said the old man. Then someone else  
appeared in the doorway. This man was taller then I and he had thick  
but short brown hair. He had matching brown eyes.  
"Thomas," said the brown haired man to the old man name Thomas," these  
are doctors. They don't help out on deck." Thomas grunted and walked  
off.  
"I'm Peter Travis by the way. I'm your captain," said the brown haired  
man.  
"Actually, Captain Travis, I'd be happy to help in any way possible," I  
said. Peter and Jackson looked at me in disbelief but Peter waved me  
along onto the deck.  
The deck was full of men in old clothing with short hair and bulky  
arms. They stared at me in disgust as I walked on board. What was it  
that no man on board liked about me? My job or my education or my  
clothes or my money?  
"Doctor Cullen will be helping us on the deck," explained Peter. The  
men grumbled.  
"Hi you can call me Carlisle," I said with a nervous smile. Some of  
the men laughed at my greeting. Others just scowled.  
"So," Peter began, "We just need to get some of these barrels moved  
down stairs. They're very heavy. Only the toughest guys can move these  
barrels. They're close to two hundred pounds." I knew I could pick them  
up easily, but did I want to draw that kind of attention?  
A few very muscular guys stepped up to the barrels and tried to loft  
them. Two succeeded. I stepped forward and all the men looked my way  
and a few laughed.  
"So Doctor, you do much lifting in the hospital?" asked Peter,  
motioning to a barrel.  
"Not as much as I should," I responded walking to the barrel. I needed  
to act like it was a struggle to pick it up. I gripped the barrel and  
bit my lip and I lifted it slowly as if I was having trouble. Some of  
the men were grumbling and mumbling as I lifted the barrel and carried  
it down stairs. A strong man with many tattoos, a sailor, set down the  
barrel besides mine.  
"Cullen, we're watching you," said the sailor, spitting at my feet. I  
tried to keep a neutral and straight face. I was trying not to draw  
attention to myself.  
"Sir?" I said, trying to keep expressionless.  
"Ya heard me'h. Ya in trouble, da guys don't like ya."  
"May I ask why?"  
"Dat. You ain't fit to sail da seas. It's the toughest dat survive. We  
can't have people like you" he responded.  
"Sir, I really don't know what-"  
"be quiet with da Sir Stuff." with that he pinned me to the wall and I  
let him. He shuddered at the coldness through my shirt. I stared at him.  
"You ain't seem so tough" said the sailor, spitting as he spoke.  
I pushed the man slightly to get his arms off me.  
"Oh tough guy eh?" said the man. He tried to shove me back up against  
the wall but I held my ground. Apparently he thought he was the  
biggest thing because the fact that he wasn't able to push me  
surprised him. He stepped back a few steps and spat at my feet. I let  
out a low growl. Probably too low for him to hear.  
He scowled and walked back up the stairs. I was done. I walked back to  
the cabin and sat on the bed.  
Jackson was excitedly flipping through the pages of my book. He looked  
enthused. He moved his lips quickly as he read it.  
"You can keep it," I told him. He looked up from the book, shocked.  
"Carlisle, you know how expensive this is?" asked Jackson.  
"Yes sir. It's a gift for a friend," I said with a warm smile.  
"I can't repay you, Carlisle."  
"No need. I said it was a gift"  
"Thank you so very much Dr. Cullen," he said shaking his head in  
disbelief.  
I nodded and lay back on the bed, with nothing to do.  
"No clothes Carlisle?"  
That's when I noticed I didn't bring any clothes with me.  
"No, actually, I was in a hurry," I replied. Jackson looked at me  
curiously.  
"Do you mind explaining?" I was going to have to tell Him something  
because he told me about his wife.  
"A wealthy man by the name of Carlson Cryer lived in the home adjacent  
to mine. He envied me because of my job and- my looks," lying was  
getting easy. Not a good thing. "But I envied him. Because he had a  
family with a wife and children. And he knew that. He also knew that  
his wife had befriended me and that she liked me. But I knew she was  
married so I left it at friendship. However Carlson still thought  
there was something there. He threatens to kill me if I didn't leave.  
So I left." I said.  
"Well. That's interesting," Jackson said, not looking up from the book.  
The. He closed it and propped himself up on his elbows. "I saw you got  
in a- disagreement with Salty Sam," he said with an amused look.  
"Salty Sam?" I asked for him to continue.  
"Yes sir. Toughest sailor around. No one could ever mess with him. And  
you defied his push!" Jackson laughed.  
"He didn't like me," I said, looking down.  
"He doesn't like anyone," Jackson replied. I laughed.  
"What color are your eyes?" Jackson asked, squinting.  
"Well, butterscotch?" I laughed, and Jackson did too. "Yours?" I  
asked, although my super vision had already seen.  
"Blue. A normal color," smiled Jackson. "What did you do on deck?"  
"helped moved barrels," I said as if it were easy.  
"Those huge barrels?" Jackson confirmed. I nodded.  
"Those are two hundred pounds!" I smiled nervously. Then the door  
flung open and six men walked in. All with bulging muscles and tattoo  
filled arms. Among them was Salty Sam.  
"We decided to pay Doctor Cullen a visit," said Sam, cracking his  
knuckles. I knew I could easily take all of the guys. But that would  
draw me unwanted attention. I stood up and put my hands in front of  
me. Jackson was reading the book.  
"Gentleman, I do not wish to fight," I said, with a too calm voice.  
"Yea but we do. And it's six to one," said Sam who was walking  
towards me.  
He swung a punch at me, which I easily dodged. I ran out the cabin to  
het the wall away from my back. I turned back around and faced the  
men. Sam looked very angry. He lunged at me.  
I dodged it and Sam slid across the floor. A man with dirty blonde  
hair threw a punch at me and I dodged it again. The men just kept  
swinging at me and swinging at me until they grew tired of missing.  
They were panting.  
"I told you I refuse to fight!" I said in a growl that seemed too  
harsh. The men were shocked. They had obviously just noticed that I  
was unscathed. Sam steeped forward and spit at my feet again. I just  
remained still. Sam and the others walked back on deck.  
Jackson stood up, "How on earth did you do that?"  
"I just dodged their punches," I responded, trying to sound as if  
anyone could do it.  
"Do you know how many punches they threw at you?" asked Jackson.  
"I didn't count," I responded, trying to sound impartial.  
"A lot. There is no way you could have-"  
"it was just adrenalin." I said, motioning my head to the book, as if  
saying to look it up. Jackson shrugged and kept reading.  
I laid there on the bed until finally I felt motion on the ship. We  
had left the dock. It was nearly nine and it was dark outside. I  
couldn't sleep so quietly, I exited the cabin and sneaked upstairs to  
the deck. It was quiet and I noticed someone at the end of the ship.  
It was Elise Royce. Her beautiful curls were falling down her lovely  
dress. She was staring into the water. I walked over and stood next to  
her.  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" I said. She jumped.  
"Sir Carlisle! I didn't hear you approach!" she said, a smile filling  
her face.  
"Yes, I tend to be very quiet," I responded. She giggled and looked  
back into the water. A frown filled her face.  
"Ma'am, what's wrong?" I asked, looking at her sad blue eyes.  
She threw her arms around me, startling me. She began crying in my  
chest. I just stood there.  
After a few moments she stopped, and wiped her eyes.  
"I'm so sorry Carlisle!" she said.  
"No need to worry. Would you like to talk about it?" I asked her,  
trying to be nice. She shook her head.  
"Miss Royce, would you like for me to leave you here?" I asked.  
"No, please don't go"  
"ok," I nodded. It was quiet for a while before Elise broke the  
silence.  
"Are you married, Carlisle?"  
"No," I replied, shifting uncomfortably. I could see the shock on Elise  
face.  
"Nor am I," she replied. I nodded in comprehension.  
"Why aren't you?" she asked me.  
"I haven't found her," I replied and she nodded in agreement.  
"How old are you Carlisle?"  
"Twenty three," I replied, wincing at the part lie.  
"So am I!" Elise said with a smile.  
"It's like-" but Elise stopped. But I knew what she was going to say.  
"Like we were meant to be together?" I completed her sentence. We were  
both face to face now and with the moon light I could see her humble  
face. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled my head down. I  
let her kiss my lips softly. As I pulled away I thought about what had  
just happened. I just made the closest contact Id ever had with a  
human. And it was a kiss. I let out a quick grin.  
"I am sorry miss Royce. That was awfully rude and inappropriate." I  
said with disgust for myself. I could have stopped it  
"no need to apologize Carlisle. I have just kissed the handsomest man  
alive," she responded with a look of awe. If I could blush I would  
have. That's when I realized it was my first kiss. Ever. I really  
would have blushed if I could.  
"And I-" although she was the prettiest woman I'd ever seen in my  
hundred years I knew she wasn't the one for me. I wasn't in love. It  
was just a kiss.  
"Just kissed the prettiest Lady I'd ever set eyes on," I said in a low  
voice, looking down to hide my expression.  
"Such a Gentleman!" she said with a curtsey. She walked away, across  
the deck. Beaming.


	10. Unfortunate

10. Unfortunate

As she walked away I stayed on the deck, my eyebrows lowered down in a frustrated expression. I bit my lip as a human would, leaned into the edge of the ship and looked into the water. That's when I saw a school of fish in the water. That's when I realized I was going to have to drink fish blood. Uh oh. I hadn't brought clothes. And getting fish was going to have to involve going in the water. I was going to be wet. And people were going to notice. We couldn't be far from land. I could swim, get some clothes, and swim back by daytime easily. Without thinking twice I jumped in the water and swam East.  
I reached land within ten minutes. I quickly hopped on the dock and ran in town slowly. It was late and I was praying a store would be open. That's when I saw a woman closing up a clothing store. I ran towards the woman.  
"Sir, the shop is-" Her voice broke as she turned to look at me, and examine me.  
"Ma'am I need some clothes. Anything. I'll pay double the price." I said, my hair dripping.  
"Your all wet!" She said with a giggle, opening the shop doors.  
"Yes, well I slipped and fell in the ocean," I replied with a smile, walking into the shop. There was business clothes here. Ties and berets and suitcases. I quickly grabbed anything that matched and would fit me, grabbed a large suit case and a new hat. It was at least fifteen sets of clothes. A lot. I threw it on the counter. The ladies eyes widened. She ran through the clothes, doing math on her lips.  
"56," she said, looking worried.  
I threw 102 on the table.  
"Sir-"  
"I said I would pay double," I said with a smile.  
"Yes but-"  
"Ma'am it's fine!" I assured her.  
She nodded.  
"Do you have a changing room?" I asked her, tugging on my soaked clothes. She pointed to a door in the back of the room. I nodded in thanks. I changed quickly and disposed of my wet clothed in the garbage. I walked out the changing room.  
"That looks fabulous sir!" She said, with a stiff smile. I nodded in a thank you and left the store.  
I ran with vampire speed back to the water. I swan in my new clothes with one arm, keeping the suitcase above my head to keep it from getting wet. I new my clothes would dry by morning with lots of running.  
I reached the ship and climbed on board easily. Everything on me was soaked. I put the suitcase on the ground and began running quickly back and fourth on the ship, not making a sound. Within minutes my clothes were dry. That's when I remembered that Jackson noticed I hadn't had clothes. I had to make something up. Maybe that the captain found a random suitcase on board and no one claimed it so he gave it to me? Peter seemed nice enough. I would go with that story.  
I would have nothing to do until morning. I heard walking on the deck.  
I smelt the blood and heard the heartbeat. Human. The person- a man came up next to me and looked out into the water too. I looked at the corner of my eye an saw it was Peter.  
"Up late Carlisle?" Asked Peter. His big brown eyes were staring at me and his short brown hair was flowing in the wind.  
"Can't sleep," I said. It sounded human enough. It's just that the words were too true.  
"Neither can I," replied Peter, calming down my nerves.  
"You make a handy deck man," Peter said with a smile.  
I smiled back.  
"Shame you became a doctor. Your strong." Commented Peter.  
"Captain Peter, saving peoples lives is my calling and I can't imagine myself doing different," I replied seriously, looking into his eyes.  
"I understand," said Peter.  
Peter looked around nineteen. He was taller than I by a couple inches an he had built biceps. His hair was short compare to others; only to the top of his neck. His eyes were bright and willing to learn. Much like me when I was his age. I couldn't help but wondering what a great vampire he would make. I noticed a wedding ring.  
"You're married Peter?" I asked, examining his face.  
"Was," he said in a gloomy voice. I wasn't going to ask anymore but he continued.  
"Wife died of some mysterious disease a doctor miss-diagnosed. Maybe that's why I don't like doctors. Well except you. You seem ok." He said, looking down.  
I didn't feel like anything needed to be said so I stayed quiet.  
"How about you? You married?" He asked looking at me as though the answer was obvious.  
"No," I responded, chuckling.  
"No?" He laughed loudly, banging his hand on the ship.  
"Well Carlisle, you are an interesting man." He broke out laughing again.  
"Yes well," I answered, giving my own laugh.  
"Although you're a doctor, I think we could be friends," he said slightly more serious, but still grinning. Peter yawned.  
"I'm beat. I think I'll try to sleep," Peter said reaching his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand quickly, making sure my grip wasn't too tight. He shuddered at my coldness. With that Peter walked across deck and into the captains quarters.  
I was alone again on deck. It was a quiet night and you could only hear the crashing of the waves against the ship. It was going to be months on the ship. I knew one way or another I was going to make it to America, but some of these people were going to die. I inhaled a lot of unnecessary air and let it back out. I walked across the dock grabbed the suit case and walked down the stairs without making a sound. I went back to the cabin and laid back on the bed.  
"Where've you been Carlisle?" Jackson asked in a quiet voice from the other bed.  
"Talking to Captain Peter," I said honestly. Jackson sighed.  
"How long you reckon we'll be on this ship?" Jackson asked.  
"A few months," I replied in a whisper.  
"People are going to die," Jackson said sadly.  
"That's why they have doctors on the ship!" I said in a tone that was meant to sound up beat.  
"But we can't stop them from dying Carlisle. It's not in our power." That stung bad. I could do something to stop them from dying. And I wasn't going to do it.  
"We'll do the best of our ability," and I winced as the words came out of my mouth, knowing it was a promise I could not keep.  
I saw Jackson nod.  
I lay there till morning.

Outside it was cloudless and I stayed under deck saying I wasn't feeling too good. Jackson kept his distance saying our conversation had jinxed me. I told him that I was fine, actually, and that I just didn't want to confront Elise. He didn't ask anything else.

The next day it was cloudy, allowing me to go outside. The first person waiting for me was Elise.  
"Oh Carlisle! I was so worried!" Elise said, giving me a hug. I was slightly uncomfortable. I knew I couldn't give her a relationship. I squirmed away inconspicuously.  
"I'm still feeling a bit sick," I lied, immediately feeling bad about it.  
"Well Doc, what is it?" Asked Elise.  
"I think I'm just sea sick," I replied, holding my stomach.  
"Oh, well I hope you feel better!" Elise exclaimed, walking away.

We'd been on the ship for a week and a half. Just to make sure I could maintain my control around so many people, I decided to hunt.  
It was nearly midnight and everyone was below the deck. There was a current below the water and I knew there were lots of fish. I tools off my beret, coat and shoes, then jumped into the water. I smelt the air above the water. I smelt something bigger then a fish. Shark. I licked my lips. I dove beneath the surface and looked around. It would have been way to dark for a human to see but I saw perfectly.  
Sure enough, several hundred feet down was a hammerhead shark. I dove down and swam after it. I couldn't use my sense of smell. The shark was fast, and although I was good at swimming, I wasn't experienced, and the shark got away. I punched the water in slight frustration. I looked around and a three-foot fish was swimming above my head. I grabbed it without difficulty and swam to the surface.  
The fish smelt... Fishy. It's blood was cold instead of warm and I could smell salt. I wasn't thirsty enough for the fish to burn my throat, but I still bit into the fish. I drank the cool blood. It tasted pretty bad but it was blood, so I drank it all up. I threw the dry fish back in the water and went to search for another.  
I dove deep in the water until I sensed warm blood. It was a dolphin. Warm mammal blood. I looked for the dolphin and found it. It was a small, baby, dolphin. I couldn't bring myself to kill it. It was beautiful. I could hear it's high pitched screeching. That's when about thirty dolphins emerged and swam past me. It was a family. I thought about the family, and then how lonely I was and I frowned. I wasn't thirsty at all anymore.  
I swam back to the ship and listened to see if anyone was on deck. No one was so I climbed up the side of the ship. I removed my clothes and put on the dry set I left on deck for when I returned. I lay my wet clothes out on a barrel where they could dry. I slipped on my shoes and ran back and forth across the deck several times at vampire speed so my hair would dry. Then I put my beret on.  
I silently walked down stairs and to my cabin. Jackson was snoring loudly and I couldn't help chuckling. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, although I knew sleep was impossible.

When I "woke up" today I felt humidity. When I went on the deck the sky was filled with clouds and I could hear thunder in the distance. Peter said we'd be hitting rough weather and we had to be prepared for the worse.  
When Peter was done talking Elise approached me.  
"You look like your feeling better," Elise said, with a bright smile.  
"Oh, yes, how'd you know?" I said stupidly.  
"Well-" Elise blushed, "Your eyes are light again, those bags under your eyes aren't so dark, and you got some color in your face." she stroked my face as she finished, she shuddered, and I winced uncomfortably and took a step back. She didn't notice.  
"I've been meaning to ask you, Carlisle, what do you seek in America?"  
"Well, a job as a doctor somewhere, a home, and a family," I replied. Her face lit up and the word family. I shouldn't have said anything. She nodded and didn't say anything else. I walked over to where I'd left my clothes on the barrel the night before and they were gone.

It was about 1:30 AM the same night and the storm was pretty bad. There was pounding rain and dangerously close lightning.  
I was getting out of the bed when a deafening sound echoed around me followed by screaming. I ran out the cabin and onto the deck. Lightning had hit the ship and there was a huge gash in the wood. Water was poring into the bottom of the ship. I knew the ship was going to sink. I ran back down to my cabin and told Jackson of the situation. Both of us then ran back on deck to go find Peter. Peter was yelling at some me. When the men walked away Peter was cursing and holding his hands above hid head.  
"Peter we have to do something!" I told him calmly.  
"Carlisle, what the hell can we do? The ship is going to sink unless you can stop it!" Peter yelled, and I smelt major whiskey on his breath. I looked at the gaping hole and the water rushing in. There was nothing I could do. Families were rushing on deck. There was still lightning and rain every where, and it was not safe to be on deck. But then again, it wasn't safe to be any where on the ship. Jackson looked at me worriedly. I mouthed him, "It's OK." But that wasn't true. It was only true for me. I felt someone holding on to me, and I recognized the scent as Elise. I would have squirmed away again but these were the last moments of her life.  
I looked at Jackson and then Elise. No. I wouldn't let them die.  
As the ship sank I yelled to Jackson, "Hold on to me!" Jackson grabbed me awkwardly and I felt Elise hold on tighter.  
I jumped in the water with both clinging on to me. 


End file.
